Preparing My Suitcase and My Soul

I have been "mentally" packing for Jerusalem for months. I have been thinking about what I am going to bring, what I am going to wear, what kind of shoes I need to buy. I've decided to wear a long skirt every day on the trip (but I'm thinking of jeans for the airplane only). Considering I don't have long skirts, I've been buying and sewing skirts for months already. I've considered wearing a veil to cover my head at the Holy sites like at the Church of the Holy Sepulchre, at the foot of the Cross, etc. I have an ongoing list of "don't forget to buy this" going on. On it includes sunscreen, an adaptor, memory card, etc. Today I put together most of my outfits...I am doing pretty good already, and I still have 13 days before I go.

But...how do you prepare emotionally for this trip? As excited as I am, I somehow do not feel worthy to go. I mean, this is a complete blessing, but how is it that I am receiving it. Yes, my beloved husband is giving me this trip of a lifetime, and I owe him a lot (just think of all the graces he is going to receive for sending me!), but beyond that...how did I get here?

The saying is right: Hind sight is 20/20. Given everything, I know that it is God that lead me to where I am today. And I feel strongly that it is God that is bidding me to come. And with that, how can I prepare myself to accept what it is that I will find? No, I don't feel worthy. I can hear the little old lady at Mass yesterday yelling, "I am worthy", but we're not. We just have enough money to pay to go, but spiritually...worthy I am not. Grateful, overjoyed, excited, scared, unprepared, anxious and blessed, and definately unworthy.