Martha Stewart I Am Not...

A few weeks ago I found a million recipes on how to make a steak using a cast iron skillet, finishing it in the oven. Today, as I plan to make steaks for dinner, my first time ever, I can't find a single recipe! All gone. Just like that. And yes, I need a recipe. The one recipe I did find mentioned getting the skillet "smokin' hot", but when I did that.....well...you can imagine the chaos. My husband sitting amongst a cloud of smoke, the cat crawling on her belly towards the open door, the dog barking after licking the splattered oil now on the floor. The constant commentary from my beloved regarding the future pizza we will order, constant outside of the long version of his incredible ridiculous day. Amazingly the smoke alarm didn't go off - probably broken or the battery is not in it! After putting the smoking skillet outside, I decided to put it in the oven. And after all this, 20 minutes later - decent New York Strips! Totally by accident, ha! Will I do this again? Uhhh.....NO! Next time, let's go to Johnnies for steaks. I am just not good at everything - ha!

Oh yeah, it was this bad! Worse!

A Momma and Her Eggs...

The two robin's eggs are still in the nest, fully attached. I take a picture every day to make sure they are in there and that no one, or nothing has gotten to them. The momma bird is a good caretaker, she sits on the nest, when I'm not disturbing her, and flies to the tree to watch what I am doing. She is a good momma. I read online that only 25% of robin's eggs will actually become a robin. I somehow think that their 25% chance is like my 80% chance of getting pregnant. What is the difference really? Every day that goes by I feel that maybe the doctor got the numbers wrong and he meant to say 8% chance, not 80. I actually said outloud yesterday that I don't think I am ever going to get pregnant...not sounding very hopefull, I know. But come on already! It's mid April, and still nothing! I'm struggling with NFP 101, basic info - this stuff is frustrating! I sure hope these two blue eggs in the nest make it! It just might be the metaphore I'm looking for!

Happy Spring!

Spring is in the air!

Beautiful tulips from around my house.

And now we have two robin's eggs in our nest. Awwww...how cute!

The Calm After The Storm...

Yesterday: Funeral, luncheon, home, MAJOR BELLY-ACHE, in-laws, MAJOR BELLY-ACHE, bed.

Note I didn't mention dinner.

I thought: maybe food poisoning, but I didn't have any of the "normal" food poisoning symptoms outside of the cramping. Then I thought - CRAMPING! What if my worst case scenario that I didn't want to discuss yesterday is becoming my reality? How am I going to deal with this? My research on my blackberry in my darkened room was diffucult, but it was that or nothing...what else is there to do? That is where the nature of being in the bed took over - I fell asleep. And although I thought I woke up in the same situation, I felt better shortly after arising.

My WCS is truly that, my WCS. I hope, I pray, this never happens again. I'll chalk it up to bad pasta yesterday and maintain my decisions are correct and appropriate. I hate that second guessing and "what if" game. That game sucks! Doubting myself sucks! It's a good thing I don't do that often!

And The Verdict Is...

After much deliberation, I decided to call the 10CK something other than peak-type mucus (uhh-hum). I can't imagine that I actually ovulated on D14 (like a normal person would). No, I must be confused, especially since there was a lack of a build up. Yep, that is my story and I'm sticking to it. I don't want to think about "worst case scenario" because...well I just don't. I had to make a decision and I did. Tough as it was, I hope I did the right thing. Time will tell...

What To Do, What To Do!?!

Ahhgggg! What is this I see? Peak type mucus looking at me. Not once, not twice, but three times today. And then all of a sudden it all went away. Ahhggg!

No build up, one day only. No husband, he's still in Kentucky. Do I start HCG in P+3? Or wait to see what happens to me? Decisions, decisions, I don't want to waste any time. I wish that my peak day was easier to find. This PCOS has become quite the pain. But I pray in the end it's a baby we gain. O come, Holy Spirit, I need clarity and guidance, you're my light and my way, please send more of it today.

Building a Nest

What was that? Daddy left for Kentucky...I guess I have to protect the Mommy.


Don't worry...I'll watch this and make sure it doesn't come to hurt my Mommy. I'm a huntress - just ask Lexi. If I can just figure out what this is...


The birds are building a nest? What's a nest?


Now why would a bird want to live in a bunch of sticks? I guess I'm lucky to have a nice home with great parents. I miss my daddy already. But don't worry pops, I'll keep my eye on this birds nest for you!

Happy Anniversary!

Ten years ago, my friend at work said she had the "perfect person for me"...would I meet him? I guess so. So on a Friday night in DeKalb, at Eduardo's Mexican Restaurant (bar) walked in a tall, dark and handsome fella and his sidekick - I didn't know which one was intended for me. How pleased I was to find out it was Ben. Sure his glasses were a little big, and he had on tapered dungarees, but he was cute, and had a great smile, and seemed interesting. Several Jack-n-Cokes later, and about one inch of snow on my 1991 Jeep Cherokee,and me without an ice scraper watched him clean off my windshield with a broken cassette tape holder - minus gloves (he never wears gloves). Later that day/morning, he will tell me he loves me. Yeah, he was drunk, and that made me think he was desperate, but I hung in there with him. And ten years later we still hang in there together. I love him, more than he knows. How happy I am that we met...on this day...ten years ago. Happy Anniversary Honey! I love you very much!

Exhausted

The Easter Triduum is over...three incredibly important days and I feel as though I missed it, but I was there. My physical participation helped me to realize, on a much smaller scale, how daunting this must have Christ. I feel that my body was pushed to a limit, and even the thought of how His body was pushed makes me tear up in embarrassment of my own selfishness. I kept repeating to myself, "it's all for the glory of God"...and it was beautiful. I think of the blood, sweat, and tears that I put into these three days, but quickly embraced that it was HIS blood, sweat, and tears that this is all about. My job is to help bring people to a fuller understanding of these days, but it is I that was granted a fuller understanding. And then He allows me to include my sufferings to His, on the cross, for the redemption of others, how much more can I be blessed. I am humbled knowing that I think I am doing this for others, but God has really done this for me, and to me. For all, but to me. Thanks be to God!