My Heart Exults...: Genesis 30:1

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Genesis 30:1

I feel her pain. I can identify. My comfort is knowing what happens, and praying that in the near future I will still be able to identify.

The thought of miscarriage has scared me so much that I am just about frozen. I actually thought yesterday "forget it, let's just move on with adoption". This is stressful, dominating my mind ALL THE TIME. I wonder how everyone else is able to move on with their lives like everything is okay. Aren't you wondering what kind of mucus I'm having today? Don't you wonder what that ache or pain was? Did you pray for my healing and ask God to purify my womb today? I did...more than once. Please God, hear my prayer.

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Our Journey To Date:

*5/31/013 - Our little Mary Margaret was born! I don't think I've seen a prettier baby ever, and she belongs to us. Born on the Feast of the Visitation and the Queenship of Mary (in the old rite, which is celebrated on 8/22 in the new rite (otherwise known as Uncle Tino's birthday)).

*12/30/2011 - We welcome our beloved son, John Benjamin, into the world on the Feast of the Holy Family. Happy Birthday my love! We've been waiting for you!

*4/22/2011 - Good Friday of the Lord's Passion and we were blessed with a BFP! 5/11 ultrasound gives a due date of January 4th, 2012, but I think that is wrong. I was not taking any supplemental meds when we conceived, but start taking PIO shots, 2ml's twice a week - ouch!

*12/11/2010 - 5 weeks, 6 days. We miscarry. Bloodwork confimed 12/13/10.

*11/29/2010 - Beta HCG = 101. Progesterone 18.9. It is true, we are pregnant. Start progesterone shots, 200, twice a week. Ouch.

*11/28/2010 - First Sunday of Advent: Five HPTs of various types are all positive. Is this really happening? Thanks be to God!

*7/19/2010 - Discontinue T3 immediately as my thyroid is over-treated. Get a full thyroid profile.

*5/2010 - Add HCG on P+3, 5, 7, 9 and B6 and T3.

*1/4/2010 - Surgery: Ovarian Wedge Resection on both ovaries; excising endometriosis. Released from the hospital on 1/7/2010.

*11/11/2009 - Laparoscopy. Confirmed PCOD and Stage 4 Endometriosis. Biopsies done on "alien" Rt. ovary, results confirm endo.

*10/20/2009 - After receiving a letter from PPVI saying they can't help us anytime soon due to "high demand of other patients", the nurse calls to say they have an opening for us in three weeks. We'll take it!

*9/3/2009 - Received letter from PPVI saying Dr. Hilgers reviewed my file which indicates thyroid system dysfunction and polycystic ovarian disease. He believes he can help us. Need to get off clomid for 6 wks, then call PPIV to set up laparoscopy.

*7/2009 - Send complete file of medical history and 4 months of charting to Pope Paul VI Institute. Note: file from R.S. had many inaccuracies, quite ridiculous really.

*3/17/2009 - Nurse M.O. reviews my chart and says it looks like I am classic PCOS. She surprises me with, "There is a treatment for that", I immediately tear up.

*3/3/2009 - First meeting with Nurse M.O. to learn the Creighton Model.

*2/23/2009 - First appointment with Dr. BK. Reviewed history.

*2/2009 - Invited Priest over. Mentioned infertility and he immediately got on the phone and gave us the name of a doctor that can help. Within minutes we googled the doc.

*1/29/2009 - After a 9 month hiatus, decide to review records with our reproductive specialist. After TWO hours, I have to ask about PCOS. His response, "why do you think you have it" and "yes, you have it. I already knew that". Treatment is IVF to achieve pregnancy, eventual hysterectomy, increased risk for several cancers. No thank you.

*4/2008 - After 100u Follistim series with estrogen and HCG series, after ultrasound, nurse yells at me "why are you still doing this, you need to do IUI or IVF!". No one ever told me that, and don't yell at me. I need a break.

*3/2008 - 75u Follistim, estrogen, HCG, TI, ultrasounds.

*2/2008 - 200mg Clomid and HCG, TI, ultrasounds.

*1/2008 - 100mg Clomid and HCG, TI, ultrasounds.

*11/2007 - 50mg Clomid. TI.

*10/2007 - Meet with Reproductive Specialist in Rockford.

*After two years of marriage and TTC, and a few months of Clomid, we are referred to a Reproductive Specialist.

My Mother, My Confidence

O Mary Immaculate, the precious name of Mother of Confidence, with which we honor thee, fills our hearts to overflowing with the sweetness consolation and moves us to hope for every blessing from you. If such a title has been given to thee, it is a sure sign that no one has recourse to thee in vain. Accept, therfore, with a mother's love our devout homage, as we earnestly beseech thee to be gracious to us in our every need. We pray that thee will make us live in constant union with thee and thine divine Son Jesus. With thee as our guide, we are certain that we shall walk in the right way and that it will be our happy lot to hear thee say on the last day of our life those words of confort: "Come, my good and faithful servant, enter into the joy of the Lord." Amen.