Mini Panic Attack

With SIX weeks left, we have begun the "first time parents classes" offered at the hospital. Last week, we went to Newborn Care, which was taught by a young nurse that worked a 12 hour shift prior, so she quickly went through the 2.5 hour class in one hour. Needless to say, we didn't really learn much. Well, maybe DH learned something, like how to NOT schedule a hair cut at 5PM when we have to leave at 5:30PM, and that he should have filled up the car with gas before he was running late from his hair cut. Both nuisances would have eliminated needless stress on an eight month pregnant gal waiting to attend her first baby class if only a tad bit more thought went into that planning.

Then we had the car seat safety check that we went to. That was easy...not. But the question is: can I install the seat again if I need to? Yes, I can :)

Last Saturday, we had our 9A to 4P Birthing Class. Informative indeed, even if DH and I were the only ones asking questions. Maybe it is a generational thing, maybe it is because it took us so long to get pregnant and we are still in "is everything okay" mode, but we were the only parents-to-be that asked anything, which really surprised me. Isn't anyone else worried about inducing labor? epidurals? the NICU? Apparently not. It must be nice to live in a world without worry that something may go terribly wrong.

Part of that class included a tour of the Labor and Delivery floor and Mommy and Baby rooms. The Pre-natal High Risk part of the hospital I visit now is in desperate need of renovation, and they are getting to it slowly. I assumed the delivery rooms would be horrendous too, but they weren't. They were really nice, and big. This didn't stop my mini panic attack from occurring though. Yes, it is true. As we walked into the labor and delivery room, and as the nurse was telling us of all the features the room has, I turned towards DH and apparently said loudly, "OMG, we are having a baby!"

It hit me like a ton of bricks. This is the room where I am going to push out our little blessing. Our little miracle. He was a prayer for five years (plus) and now he is going to be born, in this room, in six weeks. With the long road that it took to get to where we are now, I don't think that I actually believed that this would/could be happening to us. And now that it has, and is, I began to FREAK OUT! We're talking watery eyes, hyperventilation, slow motion, no idea what the nurse said after my attack began. One couple turned around and looked and giggled at me....I don't know what they thought was funny! We're having a baby, what a joyous and incredible and scary and amazing and overwhelming gift! We are going to have to video record as much of this as possible because I am sure it will be an out of body experience for me. I'm getting emotional just thinking about it now!

Eventually I calmed down, and most of the dramatic feelings I experienced (I hope) were mainly in my head (maybe). I'm not sure how much of my anxiety showed to anyone, I think it was just something that I felt, and that DH may have recognized. He never said anything to me about it, he is probably afraid to say anything about it! I mean, I have been incredibly more irritable and moody lately. I'm sure the guy is walking on pins and needles just hoping he doesn't do something (else) wrong! Poor guy.

Six more weeks, honey. Six more weeks!

DEEP BREATHS, MHE! DEEP BREATHS!