A Sacrifice Of Shoes

I can't believe how long its been since I last posted anything. The past week and a half have been very emotional to say the least. You would think that when you peak that those hormones would make you feel "good" uh-hum, but for me I get irritable, critical, and feel like Debbie Downer. I feel the exact opposite of what I would think you are supposed to feel. But I'm going to guess that is a hormonal imbalance (I'll add it to the list) and try to fight through. If only my DH would be more sensitive and understanding to this merry-go-round that he watches as I ride. Haven't we all said, "If you could only know what it feels like for one month"?!

In addition, the outcome of my fantasy "September Conversation Regarding Adoption" was just that...a fantasy. When I had my OWR in January, I told my DH I would not bring up the "A" word until September, if we weren't pregnant by then! I know that it's only been 8 months and the surgery works best up to 18 months. I guess I am just ready and I'm starting to get a little antsy. I quit my full-time job this time last year and thought we'd be soo much further than where we are now. A year later, and still no baby, I must admit that I feel "disappointed". We chose to make such big sacrifices and I'm still in the same position as a year ago, only with less shoes. But I am hopeful and know that our prayers are heard. He will answer us soon. I have nothing but complete faith and trust in that. I guess I should have been more specific and requested that it happen this past year. Never the less, it has been an incredible year and very rewarding. I don't regret the decision we made, and I am very excited to see what is in store for us this next year! I will continue to pray it includes a baby, albeit a modified prayer!